Life

Gratitude

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for”   -Epicurus
Many years ago, I learned that life should be lived with gratitude. With this I do not mean I’m an expert today. But I’ve always been a searcher of how my soul will feel. I already discovered interest in yoga and meditation when I was 15 years old. But not until in my adult age I could start practicing it. I could do it earlier too, but some things take their time and maturity. Today, I can not see my life without it. I miss days of meditation. I’m still working on making it my daily routine. Practicing yoga or exercising is not for me a must-to-do. This is pure happiness and will be so. That’s how I want to think and do not let it go to any pressure like before. But this takes time. As I wrote earlier, I have been working for this long time and the training will continue throughout my life. So, now to my list …
                                                Photo by Jared Rice on Unsplash
Yoga – Since my introduction is about yoga, I think this will be high on the list. I do not want to rank my choices but it felt natural to start there. That yoga turns into my life. I say that to you. I had a lot of pain in my back a few years ago. This probably was the one trigger that really made sure I grabbed on to myself and chose to pay that expensive membership. And that helped me. Not only physically but mentally and spiritually. For each month I felt some sort of difference. In the beginning, most about the body and the physical were concerned, but soon discovered that the mental began to relate. I have cried and laughed but also been angry when I’ve practiced. Sometimes the body has been so annoyed that it has not wanted to hang on to the relaxation. The mind has not been there. And then I’ve started to lear how to accept this. Because that’s the meaning. That we will accept our different senses, feelings and experiences.                                                            Photo by Ella Jardim on Unsplash Pregnant- Of course this is on my list. How wonderful to create a new life. Wow, what kind of gratitude I feel for this. I can cry of happiness just thinking about it. Entire me has changed about having kids. It has made me to start to think about what is really important in life. So thank God and the Universe for this little life I create within me. I promise to protect and care for her with all my soul and heart.                                                          Photo by mari lezhava on Unsplash My marriage – My parents divorced when I was 16 years old. In my most sensitive period of life, that is, the teens. My sister was 18 years old and we were so broken. Not only because of divorce but because of childhood. It was a destructive marriage that my parents had from the start. This hurt me by never dare to get married, never dare to create a family and not dare to be happy. I had pain in my stomach just the idea of ​​sitting at a dinner table like a family. I had anxiety just the thought of living my life with someone and being happy. Even though I dreamed of happiness. I was so jealous of those who were happy. I assumed that I would do my job and career and that nobody could access me. I was completely closed. So, therefore, I’m grateful for having finally released all that. I’m so happy with my husband that I’m happy with everything. I do not need anything else. Certainly there are days when we do not get along and quickly that old feeling of loneliness comes to protects myself. But this he looks through me and knows why it is like that. And it does not disturb me anymore as much as before.                                                      Photo by Sam Manns on Unsplash My family –  Mom is my best friend. She has also been my worst enemy. This may sound crazy in many ears. But it’s true. I have never been so angry with a person as at her but at the same time loved her so much that I had taken a gun shot for her. Like for my sister. Sounds maybe cliché for some but that’s the only way I can describe it. Sis and I are so different but so alike. We have been broken and we have discussed and we have cried together. We have gone through life together at a level I could never imagine. We have been tested in different ways and we have closed the past. Oh what I love them!                                                       Photo by Ember + Ivory on Unsplash My home –  Every day I’m grateful for my home. What my husband and I have achieved in such a short time. He moved here to me with nothing and I am so proud of him. I love listening to his stories of how his life has been and how he has managed. To come from a country with completely different conditions. It makes me feel ashamed of my unlucky thoughts that sometimes appear. We succeeded in one year to put together our efforts in our own accommodation. I went for a long time and felt unwell sometimes and compared myself to others. This was stupid and I understand that now. Why do you hit yourself? I worked hard while he was unable to work with his profession because of his residence permit. After 13 months he got it and could start working in his profession as a dentist. Every day when I open my eyes, I’m so happy to see our little home but so big home. I hope this can inspire you ti think about what makes you extra happy. Please share in comments. I love to hear other peoples stories in life.

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